Working primarily with birth mothers at A Chosen Child is life-changing, exilarating, demanding, exhausting, bittersweet, empowering, sometimes thankless, but mostly gratifying and always a blessing.
I think back over the past 22 years, the first ten years in New York and the last twelve in Florida, and wonder if any of my birth mothers realize how much they have been loved for that brief period of time that they are entrusted to our care, and how vested we are in hoping that their futures are brighter and better. Every single one of these women in crisis has left a mark on our soul, collectively and individually, one way or another. Every birth mother, regardless of her station in life, whether she is a teen-ager or adult, a professional woman, an inmate, a drug-addict, a student, an alcoholic, a mother of other children, a victim of rape, or a victim of her own lapse in judgment -- deeply etches into our hearts and impacts our lives in very special ways. I look at the wall in my office at A Chosen Child, with its collection of snapshots portraying the best and worst moment of their lives all rolled into one, when they placed their babies for adoption, and did so with strength and dignity. Some of these precious ladies smile and some do not, but in all, their eyes betray what their words will not - that they will never be the same. This is the moment that we arrive at the heart of the matter. That moment when their hearts are breaking and they still stand tall and stand strong, when they make themselves accountable for their decisions and their choices, and put their baby's best interest before their own. This is the pinnacle of selflessness, a moment of true parenthood - when they make a tremendous sacrifice for the benefit of their child, showing true courage and dignity during the most adverse of situations.
For these women, as time passes, the adoption will be what they make of it. For some, it may be a point of no return. For many, it will be the source of renewed motivation and focus; they will find solace, validation and comfort in every letter and every picture they receive; and will place their hearts in every letter and every gift they send; they will cultivate their best qualities in preparation for the future - with hope for reunification - pride in what they have achieved, in the person they become so they can face their birth child with confidence someday. I commend each and every one of you. You are loved.
Blessings and blessings
M
This post literally gave me a lump in my throat when I read it! As I am close in age to many of our birthmothers, I look at them every time I talk to them and think about what I would do if I was in their situation. Would I be able to make such a courageous and selfless decision? My heart is full of respect for these amazing women. I just wish that they would all realize that at this point in their lives when they feel that they are at their worst, they are shinning examples of all the best qualities in human nature and are loved by all of us here at A Chosen Child.
ReplyDeleteI needed to read this today. The day has been so trying, and its good to remember why we do what we do. The very first thing I was hit with this morning was a panic text letting me know that one of our birthmoms delivered last night and was in "personal crisis" and intent on bolting from the hospital. Thsi would have been a big problem under normal circumstances, but was made especially stressful by the fact that she was being treated for very high blood pressure after the delivery. No amount of discussion was going to keep her in the hospital and the social workers at the hospital were telling her that they were going to have to call DCF to come get the baby if she didn't stay. Hours of negotiations with our panicked birthmom and the hospital finally resulted in the hospital agreeing to call DCF but assist us with keeping the baby until the consents can be legally signed on Sunday. We were able to check in our birthmom who seemed to be doing ok health wise (we'll just pray her blood pressure stays down) and the baby should be able to go to her forever family on Sunday. What a tough day, but as you said, there is a reason that we put ourselves through this over and over again...keep up the good work ladies. A Chosen Child is a strong advocate for adopted children in Florida. Adopting a newborn baby has so much "behind the scenes" heart fights, but its worth it at the end of the day!
ReplyDeleteI have had the opportunity to witness the love and dedication that A Chosen Child puts into every birth mother. The entire team at this agency recognizes the courage that it takes and they truly express a genuine care and love for each brave woman that they have the pleasure to work with. I am blessed to know about A Chosen Child and their purpose in this world. It has taught me a lot about adoption and the deepest of all love - a Mother's love. So strong, that their child's happiness and future is first priority....no matter how difficult the process may be for them. Because of A Chosen Child, I have my own personal and deep compassion and admiration for these birth mothers.
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