Working primarily with birth mothers at A Chosen Child is life-changing, exilarating, demanding, exhausting, bittersweet, empowering, sometimes thankless, but mostly gratifying and always a blessing.
I think back over the past 22 years, the first ten years in New York and the last twelve in Florida, and wonder if any of my birth mothers realize how much they have been loved for that brief period of time that they are entrusted to our care, and how vested we are in hoping that their futures are brighter and better. Every single one of these women in crisis has left a mark on our soul, collectively and individually, one way or another. Every birth mother, regardless of her station in life, whether she is a teen-ager or adult, a professional woman, an inmate, a drug-addict, a student, an alcoholic, a mother of other children, a victim of rape, or a victim of her own lapse in judgment -- deeply etches into our hearts and impacts our lives in very special ways. I look at the wall in my office at A Chosen Child, with its collection of snapshots portraying the best and worst moment of their lives all rolled into one, when they placed their babies for adoption, and did so with strength and dignity. Some of these precious ladies smile and some do not, but in all, their eyes betray what their words will not - that they will never be the same. This is the moment that we arrive at the heart of the matter. That moment when their hearts are breaking and they still stand tall and stand strong, when they make themselves accountable for their decisions and their choices, and put their baby's best interest before their own. This is the pinnacle of selflessness, a moment of true parenthood - when they make a tremendous sacrifice for the benefit of their child, showing true courage and dignity during the most adverse of situations.
For these women, as time passes, the adoption will be what they make of it. For some, it may be a point of no return. For many, it will be the source of renewed motivation and focus; they will find solace, validation and comfort in every letter and every picture they receive; and will place their hearts in every letter and every gift they send; they will cultivate their best qualities in preparation for the future - with hope for reunification - pride in what they have achieved, in the person they become so they can face their birth child with confidence someday. I commend each and every one of you. You are loved.
Blessings and blessings
M
